The Kingdom Curve

Many years ago my mother thought I might enjoy having a running companion.

So she suggested that I should contact a woman working in her office who "ran cross-country", thinking it a good match because I didn't like to run on roads.  Through various circles I did know Sue and thought her to be a super nice person.  I didn't end up contacting her because I was being obsessive about my training schedule for Mt. Washington and felt that "cross-country" (running through golf courses, right?) was something I should do after the race.

A few weeks later, I'm eating lunch while reading a running article in Outside magazine, and all of a sudden there's a picture of Sue.  A picture of Sue kissing a really big, hard, rock.  Which is what is expected of one once they complete the Hardrock 100 Ultramarathon.  She had actually won.  She's won it more than once as a matter of fact.

So I show the picture to my mother, and say "cross-country"?  "Did you know that this is what she really does?" She did not.  Apparently Sue didn't really talk about it around the office.

To me, this is Kingdom.  We have a lot of people who live here who do some very incredible things, but don't really talk about it much.  I've never felt that it comes from people being so egotistical that they feel others would be jealous about their accomplishments and therefore spare those others the humiliation of not being as worthy.  I feel it comes partially from people just doing what makes them happy every day and aren't seeking outside validation. The bigger part of it is that it's a small enough community everyone usually already knows anyway and one would be considered a bore to bring it back up.  Best to avoid that.

I think that people moving to the Kingdom have a hard time seeing this.  In more populated areas, one needs to advertise themselves more to get ahead in life.  An introduction to a Kingdomer?  You'll discuss road conditions, weather, maybe that there are now less hermit thrushes than in years past due to haying practices.  An introduction to someone from outside the Kindom and they will, either subtly or not so subtly, include their resume and life achievements in short order.  Highlighted will be letters that stand either before or after their name.

A Kingdomer perceives the Outsider as being a braggart and is put off.
The Outsider perceives the Kingdomer as being someone who has accomplished nothing and is put off.

Each in their own element is served well.  Each outside of their own element is not served well, and there is a learning curve.

The Outsider in the Kingdom learns that they need to stop ADVERTISING to fit in.  To chill, pay their taxes, work hard and stop trying to impress everyone.  To expect that their hard work will be noticed but not noted.  To also learn to respect that there is often more under the surface of Kingdomers than they realize, because Kingdomers are quiet.

The Kingdomer in the Outside, needs to learn how to effectively advertise themselves or they'll be passed on by.  They need to stop being offended by people whose custom it is to provide a life resume in conversation.

The Kingdom Curve.  It's painful to watch people go through it.  The Kingdom certainly spits out those who fail here and sucks back in those who fail there.